The foreigner's sexual standards

The foreigner's sexual standards
What is the love on earth? What kind is the relation of the love, sex and marriage? People want to hit and get something from the love As to these questions, perhaps everybody has one's own experience and view. Then, when being between east and west, understanding and experience in this really very much the same between Chinese and foreigner, totally different? Taking this bunch of doubt, I have visited some foreign friends who I know, they have diplomat, reporter, scholar, businessman, foreign student,etc.. The more people who I interviewed are, the more find the love is in different poses and with different expressions, difficult following definitions. Perhaps why can through the ages become eternal themes of the artistic creation of literature this is exactly moving place and she of love. The marriage is an agreement, men and women must be equal He is that a complexion is slightly dark, there are the Swiss guys of a pair of blue eyes, a little over 30, study international politics. He lets me call him " The love doctor " . He says while speaking of the difference of ideas of Chinese and foreign marriages: I thought Chinese had an illusion, always thought westerners' sexual love was as careless as having breakfast, in fact it is not like this. I think the Chinese sexual love idea is more open than foreigners. For example at the bar, can often see Chinese man is with his lover. I know some Chinese men are raising the concubine, this can not be accepted in the west. In my idea, the marriage is loyal, it is a kind of serious agreement, men and women must be fair. If you decide to spend your remaining years with a woman, you should not look for other women outside, otherwise, unfair. Certainly, every lovers of men and women in some marriage relations, life who interferes either whom, I think relation of this kind of marriage is unhealthy. Perhaps, the life of pre-marital westerners tends to people's natural instinct even more. For example, you have grown up, seventeen eight years old, if you have a requirement of emotion or sex, can be satisfied. It is larger and larger with people's life pressure, people's inner world becomes more and more lonely too, people's emotion, instinct need just more and more concrete. It is impossible for you to find the ideal lover very easily, then what if? Have to pay close attention to needing even more, the need of the health, it would be transient sometimes if this kind needs, an hour, one week or one month. There were sexual liberations in the west in the seventies, there is very strong sex education course now, find, after the AIDS, for strengthening health education, show a lot of terrible venereal disease photos, the making is more scientific and losing romantic, mysterious color in the past. Chinese a French guy in actual he in woman, over 20 years old, lawyer. He insists on letting me call two horses one of his the bird, saying this is his Chinese name. This claims the conservative person has discussed some views on the Chinese woman of his candidly. I think women of China a little more actually than the France woman. They, to having a wrong concept romantically, this may be influenced by foreign film at first. In their idea, seem romantically it is the music, candle light. After this step goes over, the second step becomes very practical. She begins to pay close attention to the realistic material life: What kind of house is your shelter, have a car etc.. In addition, I think the Chinese woman is more enterprising than the western woman. Perhaps is it Chinese that face larger existence pressure? I do not know. I have some Chinese colleagues, they will sacrifice the family for one's own career, for example: Couple live apart for a long time, is very difficult to understand for me. A happy family is more important than any other things. About the sex, I think the ideas of Chinese and westerner are very different. Chinese seem enjoy sexual life, person who does not I wonder what it is. As you do not know what a thing is, you want anything, you can find its real meaning from it. It is only accompaniments of some thing that Chinese feel, for example: Marriage. Or some girl will say she have sexual relations only because he take with boyfriend originally. She does not seem the knowing how belong to her own one, it is a happy and healthy need. The sex and combination of the love are certainly the best, but the sex can become a kind of independent enjoyment. The marriage is only a religious question to me, you make vow in front of God that want to spend remaining years together with this woman, no matter poverty or disease, the loyalty that and the marriage promises is actually only a kind of game rule, respect in this rule it is the most important. You refuse the extramarital affair only because you respect your promise, respect the emotion of the other side, this is a foundation of love, should say good-bye if there is no love. Like the beautiful opposite sex to be that human natural instincts Hans is a German engineer making me unable to forget. He is tall and big, the upper lip wears the small moustache, drink a cup of beer and collect a cup, that magnanimity is amazing. His love and marriage life are likewise transcendent, admirable. "Do you ask what I love? The love is the a hundred per cent understanding, compromise each other. I have been married for 10 years, marriage life is still as happy as originally. " Hans says sincerely and childishly. "To me, the sex and love are totally the same thing. Certainly, marriage plain sailing, no one will have some question in the intersection of marriage and life, what bought for example who decides, you like this house, she likes car of that kind of color,etc.. Not mattering if have any further problems, both sides should keep calm, wait for everybody to be so angry as to disappear to discuss again, solve the problem. I think couple's life oldest resenting is that no one says, do not face if have any further problems, does not exchange, does not solve, going down will have trouble among couple like this. " When mentioning many couple get married to lack the feeling of freshness and passion and leave and look for the question of the extramarital affair a few years later, Hans says: "I think I like the beautiful opposite sex for being our human natural instincts. If I see a beautiful girl, why can't see several more, express good opinion to her? My wife is the same too, she sees beautiful guy will say to me too, that guy's many spirit that you see. This is human natural instincts, we should understand and accept it. But the question always has a principle, this principle should not destroy among couple, that is that the none of both sides should be with other opposite sex's sexual relations. This kind of mistake can't be made absolutely. Once make this kind of mistake, will cause the marriage to break, if either parties of couple do not forgive for probably puts forward the requirement for divorcing because you are not loyal. I do not want to lose my wife, I will never follow other woman's sexual relations, this is a question of a loyalty and principle. " "Then, if wife of you have how it will be loyal behavioral you to you? " "I think I will forgive her. So long as the reason that she says clearly to me. Such as Because has drunk too much or other reasons. This does not matter, everyone will make mistakes. I will not give up her, I will still love her. But I will not let her know this idea of mine. " Hans says with a smile. The love is an action he is a German manager working in China. "I think the love is to take action, it is not a language. You need to use and take action to behave, but not say to your wife I love you all day, I love you. You should stroke her, show loving care for her, should behave this kind by body language to love. A more important respect of love is the understanding and trust. If you love the other side, should give her certain living space, let her have one's own life and fully believe in her. Meanwhile, the man should have one's own living space too. Such as the work like me, I do not go home in hotels on duty until very late, I can not always accompany my wife. If she feels lonely, wants to look for a different charges in nature companion to chat, send time this is a very normal things. I fully believe in her. She believes in me too at the same time. I too can go out, get bar or Karaoka room with friend sometimes, get the place I certain and girl that like have a chat, pay a period of time, do not go home until very late. If we distrust each other, she questions me just like a policeman after I have gone home late: Where did you go? With whom to stay? What have had a chat? How dull this is! I think can the transcendental demarcation line is the bed between the couple. If either party has gone to bed with others, then walk too far, will cause the injury to the marriage. But the marriage is like investment, it is a kind of risk. There is a bankrupt problem in marriage life too. What if I or my wife have fallen in love with others one day? I must choose. This is life. " The love is anything, but not the trade definitely I call him according to the Chinese habit" Always rich" ," rich " There are " doctors " Meaning,at the same time it is the name of him one first letters " B " Englishes Pronunciation. He is a French anthropologist, the body is tall and big, the appearance is handsome, age a little over 40, look like the French movie star " Alan - morality dragon " . " always rich " It is that kind of typical handsome and graceful, characteristically brilliant man in the life. "In fact for a man, the definition of the love is more extensive. If we must discuss the love between men and women, I think that there should be sense of duty at first. It is dedicating to speak with your Chinese words unselfishly. But this kind of devotion will be set up above two basic principles. The first is respected, the second is equal. "Dear to that is to say both sides of the love must accept the other side as an independent person. This independent person must have one's own past, style, hobby, temperament and interest, individual character, way of thinking,etc.. If you love the other side, should accept all these as a whole and respect that belong to everything her own. You can't think, I only accept her advantage, does not accept her shortcoming, both sides take what one needs, this is not love, this is business. "It is mutual to be equal and respect, none of can be dispensed with in the love. It means that there is a kind of difference such as family background, schooling, position and rich or poor difference objectively between men that so-called equal, but as you respect a person, love her, and while taking the equal attitude to treat her, should surmount all these differences. It must be totally equal among two persons in love. Equal there could be true love. We everyone have a kind of thing grown and owned in common, that is the person's dignity. People's dignity is sacred and inviolable, it is equal, do not have the difference that level is high and low. "If the love can be anything, but by no means the trade. People can't seek private interests in the love, this is the most important. "Love and marriage are complicated topics. Certainly, the love is a foundation in the ideal marriage, but this is only ideal. In a lot of realistic marriages, begin to have love, disappeared once loving in the Section after passing, the one left is only responsibility, obligation and life got used to each other among the couple. A lot of people keep the marriage that is for property, child, family,etc., really unfortunately this. The marriage without love is really a very great contradiction. " "Why would love among couple fade? " I ask. "Everybody's emotion is very different. " Always rich to want to say: "The love can not be analyzed, if you analyze the love, I'm afraid wrong at the beginning. Because the love is complicated and simple, just like this carpet, if you analyze how every line was woven, the whole carpet does not exist. You are only from observing this carpet wholly, will find beauty. The love is the same too. " Select from the medical network of Asia

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