You do not guess the worry of the old maid

You do not guess the worry of the old maid
Author: Xia Jing he lend I marry pieces of the intersection of and 34 I, can't help thinking so once waking up every morning only. 34 these and two figures are hung at my top of the head distractedly and distractedly, I am afraid, afraid of to often cover with the head into quilt again at once once opening eyes. I have got married, I all say so people. But it knows what is it about this marriage. We whether work introduce, know, he grow well, very high, very attractive. We have got along for more than first year, the scene while recalling our love, bear and can not send and stop up in the heart. That let too to fall in love? It is really very terrible. We neither shake hands nor kiss, but a sentence of one of mine of yours are said and spoken, the ones that say are all unit broken thing, and all others' things. Meet in one week, one and a half hours each time, as if is nipping time, time is up, he says: " let me send you home " . One day, he says: "My mother wants to see you, she is urging us to get married. " We are speaking other things before saying this sentence, he is too cold to rise from a word in this way. I am very startled, want whether to reply this of his or not even if propose. But I can not say, too serious in the place between us. I just reached the age of 25 while knowing him. I know I look plain, nobody has courted me all the time too before this, it is injured that this makes my self-esteem hold out. After knowing him, always think his condition is better than mine, do not believe he will fall in love with me. I can't help thinking while waiting for his telephone in the office, perhaps he will not come to look for me every weekend. Accompany me straight while being perturbed while being such. On Sunday, I really met his mother, old ladies have more enthusiasm compared with him, make detailed inquiries drawing my hands. Two months later, we got the marriage certificate. While registering, staff members say holding our photo: " you have couple's looks very much, it is sure to reach old age " . He goes over tearing the photo, get to see carefully, said suddenly at the moment: "Why can not I find out. " I think he incorrect mood have, like angry at that time. I want to look closer too, it is avoided that he flashed, say: "The the intersection of photo and I take well, how it will be I and you can look like? " I know why want, speak so he, he think with me as if lose face and how. See I am angry, he says again: "You are whiter, more beautiful than I too than I. How can I look like you. " The neck is finished the card will come out, the sun is very dazzling. I say: "Shall we sit down under tree shade? " I think no matter how today is always a special day for us, does he have no obligation to speak more anything? He say, if he probably think something too: "Shall I go to buy the pot beverage for you? " We did not spoke anything that day of result. Having sat for more than ten minutes, he begins to look at tables confusedly and worriedly, then say again the unit is in a hurry and must leave. "I phone you. " He says. But he has not phoned for me since then. I have looked for him several times, he says each time: "Too busy, can't go away. " I know he is looking for the excuse. I am very angry, angry his angrier oneself, why anxious to get married, will know obviously he is not very good to oneself. Say and blame oneself impatient, because has mostly got married of the same age with me, besides, his conditions of various fields are really good, it is the Vanity, I had only a thought at that time, can't give up him at will. In two whole months, I have not seen him. I phone, look for he later on, he even excuse does not bother, say, say just: "I will look for you later. " The family begins to urge me to do the marriage wedding. I mother say, worry always, live together in case cherish what about it will be child? It is always this sentence. It is angry for me to listen to, think until what cherish children, I can not see even he. I know I have done a foolish thing, and lose face very much, is afraid family members laughed at, I still went out to " date " each Saturday afternoon ,The bag streets and lanes are being blind to turn that carrying. One day, I really can't help, had gone to his home directly. His mother sees me saying in surprise: "Why did you come alone? " I ask where he is, his mother says: " Have not you gone to Qingdao to travel? " My heart seems not to beat to be the same, I say: "I have not seen him for more than two months. " His mother's face changes dashing for ward. She lets me sit down, it is stroked gently that hands are stroked gently on my shoulders. I ask finally what happened, when did he left. " Wei Chun, " His mother is calling me, the tears spin in the eye socket straight, " I know where he has gone, he is really very wicked, can really do out. " The old lady begins to comfort me by every means, does not get on very well and say, I understood at last what it is about. Originally, he worked an " old fox spirit " in the unit Been fascinated, that woman is 12 years older totally than he! "The sons will all graduate from primary school soon. " His mother says, " send the things to him all day, it is sweaters for a moment, is the tie for a moment, making a noise as it is real, that woman's husband still comes to look for I, a very honest man, some sons of my tube. He does not say I do not knows, have waited for and known it already late. " "I forbid he and that woman to come and go again, I have told him, you must let a girl get married. Even if she has divorced, is a remarried woman, you are still a guy, what a woman of so cheap that. He does not do, crosses and eats definitely. I say, you should stay with her. Have at least Let's put aside till after you yourself are the remarried woman. " His mother talks about this and pats the thigh, " you look, he is wicked, you say what you are going to do, can't take a girl and act as a cushion either. Wei Chun, he has hurt you. " What I can say, to be frank, I still really feel relaxed a lot in the heart, at least, I know what it is about. Transient care whether one joke it gets marriage certificates to be in that unit turn on identification, we are a small unit, so the colleagues all know. But did not expect I divorced so fast. "The wedding has not been done yet, let's joke? " Familiar people all ask, one pair wants to try to find out more expressions of something like this. I say nothing. Since then, I have become unsociable and eccentric, do not want to have too many contacts with people. I see, one's own thing is just like one's own food, others can not help you to digest at all. When perhaps listen to your agony, they will sympathize with you, but turn round, these contents, on turning into doing the topic that they grind one's teeth. My board gets up the face will come, try hard to come and go all alone, consciously and the colleague has spaced out. I can think What like they will talk about me, " abnormal, nerve " ,Everything is possible. In charge of his. It is to pass by to flash in two years. Someone has introduced the marriage partner to me too in the middle, are mostly middle aged men divorcing Stand up. Suffer a loss, see initiative man to will think of kind thing while being very natural so. At this moment, our elder sister of the office stops me, say: "Take a walk and go, don't speak to him. " Walk accordingly I,on reach by second floor,see whether there are hes, rather peculiar. Enter the elder sister of the door and say: "Wei Chun, you are confused, do you pay attention to that neuropathy too? It is silly that he one spend hey, do not you know? " I say I do not really know. "Been living on labour insurance, has estimated that gets ill again. The people it is said, can't yet let, laid off at will, factory too unlucky. " Since then, I have found me not all right, seem that fantastic once seeing that man, special regurgitation, and I regret very much oneself is a woman, a plain woman. I do not want to turn into the man, it is a woman to hate oneself even more, in a word, I think I will feel once opening eyes that fear, nervous, agitated and detesting in the morning, if which man speak two sentence with me much in unit, I will unset one day totally nothing do. Having lasted more than one month like this, though I try hard to restrain oneself to accomplish calmly, numbly, but I have already felt nerve is very nervous. Have a meeting in the place once, we division chief speak one decadent joke, have a meeting at ordinary times he can speak too, our cashier is very serious, will talk about two sentences of his. But the cashier was out that day, another woman said echoing each other to him. I drank water with strength, climbed all over ant on one's body, was gripping me little by little in feeling at that time, neck quickly, I carry live the intersection of water and cup, one fall, go down cup. I have forgotten it in thing later on. While waiting for them to sit down on putting me through to the chair, I find it is red impressions of the hand on the division chief's face, they say that was dug by me. My expression in one's eyes is full of sympathy that they looked, I understand immediately what role I have been acted. I did and rested completely the next day. Parents can be extremely worried, see me becoming an old maid day by day, more terrified than I. I have only an elder brother, has already married and given birth to babies, my great difficult problem of the whole family. Because it is ugly for me to grow, elder brother in one's favour than me while as a child, where does it go to, people are vying for kissing him, air me on one side. I specially hated my parents, hated my brother too, troubled my sister-in-law too later. I am too sensitive that family members all say. The insensitivity that can I? Sometimes, I really want to extremely calculate, am alive being bullied in this way! After lying for one month, I begin to advertise for a life partner. To be frank, none is appropriate. It has a little nerve that people seeming to come to matrimonial agency are all similar to me. What I saw is first a piece of half a head shorter than I, we see the first surface is all repugnant each other. I can imagine my expression at that time, the wrinkles of an agitated forehead of mine were very obvious, these wrinkles must leave a lasting impression on him. What we invited on the phone is to meet in a Sichuan-cooking restaurant, meaning is very obvious, eat for. But he just said to my intercommunication name: "I have a thing, let it be. " I smile - -This is a kind of injury to say, but I really see light now - -I say: "All right, you are busy if you are busy, actually I was also planning to ask you. " I oneself reach restaurant wipe out first alone later on, the heart is under the Central Committee and laughable. Having probably seen generally that there are forty or fifty, can not remember clearly. None can take a fancy to, seem not to take a fancy to me either. The best keeping in touch for 4 times, it is over to finish. Family members all say: "The question produces on you, you think your face suspected the looks, did not hold and want the thought which bes a woman to come out at all, have suffered bitterly and nurse deep hatred. " But I can't stop. Because the money has been handed in, anyway it is unoccupied, maybe can run into one. Now I often phone to know whether to meet or not, because I will tell the other side very directly on the phone: "I always and ugly, can to likewise old ugly people consider likewise. " I hope, have dealings with strange man more and can let my disease speed up well. " Comment on: From Wei Chun's experience, we can experience that strong aspiration in the heart of hearts of the old maid, wish eagerly that there is love, there are families, wish eagerly to be taken good care of, respected, appreciated. This is a demand which normal persons can't be more normal; But for 34 -year-old Wei Chun, how 's difficulty it is. Wei Chun does not have " The disease " ,Only the psychological problem has appeared because the emotion is baffled. The basic reason that she does not marry even after stalling for a long time is: Unfortunate experience on the injury and emotion of the family. Learn, say what kind of what kind of child environment grows up by house in the heart; Full of feeling self-humiliation in the mind of child growing up while laughing at. Wei Chun grows up so, because is plain, can not get others' fondness, always ignored in the public occasion, all these determine her personality must be sensitive and feeling self-humiliation. Timid, fragile, and those men out of ulterior motives, like bullying such an honest people naturally. Parents are extremely important mirror of one side of the child's, the child saw oneself from parents' eyes. Parents are affectionate, appreciate, gaze deeply concerned, let the child believe oneself is lovely, beautiful, thus it is essential to produce in life " Healthy narcissism " ,This is a source of confidence that they can not be used up all one's life, this is the most precious present that parents give to them! Unfortunately, Wei Chun's elder brother seizes all sights of parents, parents never appreciate her, never encourage her, that left is about the deep and eternal memory not lovely, plain completely in her mind. Feel self-humiliation, there is a passive position in a emotion experience. First marriage, to make fun of and abandon others undoubtedly, unfortunate experience this let Wei understand one's own situation further spring, she who is pitiful will only wrap up, refuses to associate with people, refuse the revealment of all true feelings by oneself. However, how she thirsts for the love, thirst for men, the double demands of the physiology and emotion are striking her, oppress her, let her gasp for breath. But she can only wish eagerly to inhibit these on the bottom of heart deeply, is shown as and feared men, fear to take the lift, fear to listen to the decadent joke. If there is not a channel led off again, she will be really crazy. At this moment, criticize parents for have actual meaning yet, they in unidentified to pay a price for one's own fault already. What about should on earth Wei Chun? Perhaps, nobody listen attentively to spring feel sad and not hurt and wrongedding over the past 34 years Wei conscientiously still, then please sit down now and listen to the complaining tearfully of Wei Chun patiently, especially her parents and elder brother. On the past wound, was accumulating the tear in 34 years, perhaps it will be the down-pour, present and very uncomfortable that perhaps will let, but any new life all need tasting Try taking off the agony like the shell. In atmosphere that kindred surround, please enumerate spring all advantages Wei, for example do things serious careful, like cleanliness, love tidy up, words gentle, sound soft, etc. In fact, our self-confidence, all establish from these minor matters little by little. But Wei Chun, need from that kind of victim, is changed over in the hurt and wronged identity, since alive, should stick out one's chest, is alive openly and aboveboardly. Walk out of present circle, is trying to make friends. In fact everybody is like you, everybody has his own troubles. Try to realize others, understand others, and explain one's own worry out boldly, you will find, when you are candid to others, others will open the chest wide and embrace you too. Another pieces of suggestion do psychological consultation, take whole family go together. There is much more in life " Wei Chun " . Each " Wei Chun " Behind story that each shed tears to have,be please last theyed, understand by they, give them show loving care for and love, it is onlooker we that can give them to be most loud to comfort. Transfer to selecting from " psychological consultation " from drgama.com

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