Always take children and compare with others The child will envy to grow up

Always take children and compare with others The child will envy to grow up
In life, a lot of children will be with demonstrating the jealous psychology when get along of little other partner, praise other children such as hearing one's own Papa and Mama, or will feel unhappy, etc when Papa and Mama embrace other children. Meeting this kind of situation, a lot of parents want to put out child's jealous flame immediately, but have you thought, why does this kind of psychology of the child's come? Come from lacking sense of safety, self-value sense and envying this word and are used for describing the adult, in the child's world, similar such behavior is coming from child's heart's lacking sense of safety. Child's heart lacks sense of safety, may have two respect reasons. First of all, a very self-confident person will not envy the others' one. Envy because he is not self-confident, non- self-confident origins are not enough in approval degree that he got. Child's age is small, the cognition of oneself comes from others' affirmation to him, if parents have less affirmation to the child, once certainly other children, the child will think Papa and Mama think me not good enough, so they affirm others, and does not affirm me. Often parents do not have enough to their approval that the child who envies the psychology appears, or depend on father or mother unduly, he thinks that it is right to praise oneself, praise others for not being right. Secondly, though some parents love for children, the child can't experience, or the love experienced is insufficient, then as parents to when other children are kind, the child will think whom Papa and Mama loved is other children, but not love me. Envying the psychology of the child, mainly because parents have not let him obtain sense of safety to the child's love, so the child will want to display oneself, prove oneself enough to pay close attention to by others, it is extension that loves that this pays close attention to. The disappearance of child's sense of safety, has reflected too his self-value sense has not been set up well. Parents, while praising others, if the child does not have self-value sense, he will belittle that child, say his place is not good, there is not good either. If the child has better self-value senses, he will approve of such appraisal. Li Zheng says. So Zheng Li propose parents until other children of giving sure, should notice what if one's own child reacts, if the child is very calm, can accept one's own parents to others' commendation, prove his self-value sense is very substantial; If parents praise other children, the child presents the strong response, then parents will review, whether will give by oneself the child's love will not be given to some, have not let children feel the love? Give child firm self-value sense to want to dispel envying the psychology of the child, parents should learn to love children first, let children form the firm self-value sense. One could prove oneself is valuable the love. Children's self-value sense will certainly come from the relation between parents and him. If the child got a lot to love while as a child, then after he grows up the self-value sense is stabilized, when parents criticize him again, he will not suspect Papa and Mama's love either. Li Zheng says. What kind of could love let child experience love? Li Zheng says, the love can not say clearly, but can see through fruiting. Real love to have, appear, if child there is relation intimate with parents also, extraordinary independence again, then the love that parents give to the child is the true love. Don't take child always Lu red to reflect, show parents must not have psychology compared compared with others, if parents often take one's own child and take one's own fault compared with other children, better than the others' one, this will educate out the child who feel self-humiliation. Often bringing the child that compares generally has two kinds of responses: First, you say it is not good for him, he says it is very good that oneself is very good, shown as the extraordinary pride; Second, you say him to be bad, he will think oneself to be really fine, show as very much feel self-humiliation. But all these either self-confident, the self-confident child is that you say he is good or bad, he will be very calm, can not be proud either feel self-humiliation. Li Zheng says, parents can say the thing that the child does is right or wrong, but can't say whether he is good or bad, parents want to firmly believe, the child is good forever. First certainly, and then give and guide the direction How to deal with and envy the child breaking out? Lu DanYing says, parents should pay attention to understanding first what the reason why the child is unhappy is, because he is praised well at ordinary times? If is this reason, then place that parents should often comment on the child and do well, help children to form the good self-value sense. Advantage,etc. as parents can praise the child before people. If child make good enough really, the intersection of parents and all right pairs of other the intersection of child and for model tree, but should pay attention to the skill that speaks, should affirm his present state first, and then give the direction which he guides. Li Zheng gives an example, parents can say to the child like this: I find you are playing with the slippery respect of the wheel and already working hard, if you can accelerate a little more speed, just like big elder brother nearby, it's much better. Li Zheng reminds, not all children can accept such a way, some children can accept the first half a sentence (oneself is compared with oneself) ,But can't accept the latter half one (compare with others by oneself) ,Parents had better not talk about the latter half sentence temporarily at this moment, wait until substantiate the child's self-value sense first. In life, a lot of children will be with demonstrating the jealous psychology when get along of little other partner, the expert says, similar such behavior comes from child's heart's lacking sense of safety.
Child Envy
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