8 sentences which the clever wife does not say
" Encircle a city " In it is latent unavoidably two war of people; When may be triggered at any moment, add fuel to the flames, the salutary influence of education, is often decided by the speech of the wife. Sometimes, just pour a word of the advantage, not merely can put down the dispute, have the initiative in hands, still can let your marriage be more intimate, more harmonious and more happy while cooperated. Wonder how the clever wife says? You must know at first then and what that criticized just escape one's lips, you regret; It is always stiff and hard to speak with the husband; Or your original idea may be good, can say that lose flavour completely --One dispute often unavoidable at this moment, wrong transmission of information watch, initiate couple's competition just. It would be then better if there can be emotion that some better ways express you Below, is devoted to studying the experts in the way that happy couple communicate will propose for you. In fact, but the small change of the wording can make meaning that you express have very big difference. The key lies in it is angry and complaining that the mood which regulates you does not need the tape to catch fire. This's the secret of creating the harmonious relation. Don't say: " I know you will say so. " And should say: " You had ever said so in the past, so it must be still perplexing youing. " A lot of words are not censured, unless what you used is the tone that insinuate. As you wear says speaking sarcastically: " I know you will say so " When, as good as then using another way scolding your husband it is one " Idiot, fool " . The authors of the founder of U.S.A. Seattle Terman Ge research institute, book of " 7 happy criteria of marriage ", Terman Ge of John of doctor of philosophy think: The contempt will accelerate the collapse of the marriage. One of the most obvious signs of divorcing often no matter what your husband says, you scorn to take even a glance at. The comparatively wise expression is: " You had ever said so in the past, so it must be still perplexing youing. " Say so, sincerely consider his feeling as well as indicate you hope what can be done for solving the problem. Until every point slight try, go, realize and it links up marriages of you to be can firmer each other in the life. Terman Ge proposes: " For example he works overtime go home very late, might as well then record the TV programme that he likes watching most. Only to mutual goal, anxiety and hoping to really understand to some extent, when determining the major event and presenting difference, you can be in order to treat together properly. " Don't say: " You make me nearly crazy. " And should say: " You do it in that way, I really feel a pain very much. " You must define what mood influencing you the expression is, professor, Allson of doctor of philosophy think the sociology of family of St. Paul university, Minnesota state of U.S.A., will make the marriage relation more tense to deny all generally, " Especially explain that clearly reason why you are angry " It is extremely important. You need to emphasize his behavior bring your feeling, but don't list a lot complaint and hurt and wronged list. Remember: It point out question on one piece each,for example," When I want to speak with you and you just think of oneself to watch TV, really let me feel a pain very much. " Say the better one's own feeling at that time is early. Dr. Allson explains, " You make me nearly crazy " This sentence means your mood had already risen to a too drastic level through inhibiting for a long time. Don't say: " You have not been doing this correctly all the time. " And should say: " You have made a lot of efforts, but it is too strenuous to use this way. " The behavior of blaming your remaining half is improper, you will often point out and do the method with correct and wrong this. Though it looks that your method may be best, but it often has what you have a partiality for subjectively in fact. Dr. Ge Terman points out: " It will make couple's emotion drifted apart to censure. " Two people should accomplish each other equally in the family, Dr. Ge Terman says for example, when needing to do housework, one's own very comfortable idea that the men must throw away letting; And the woman must give up controlling men to finish the course of this. " Obviously, the advisor who becomes him is much better than the result of making indiscreet remarks to him. " Don't be stingy to his grateful and definite word, this will make him glad to continue persevering. Happy couple are often based on the fact that appreciated each other, they will often praise each other, even the places of the minor details the most in daily life, they will not forget either to say that thanks. Don't say: " Why did you never listen to me? " And should say: " This is really very important to me. " Say your companion never listened to your not only full of blaminging but also exaggerated grievance. Will mind several times even if it is the least modest person to what you said after all. Professor U.S.A. Seattle University of Washington sociology,> and doctor of philosophy wear uncle construct Walz to point out: Use " Always " Or " Never " Such a wording, your husband " Can not carry on normal talk with you at this moment " . This statement that totallied repudiate pushes all the responsibility for the question to his body too at the same time, and let oneself break away from all responsibility. And Israel " This is really very important to me " This sentence, as beginning, will open a gate which carry on constructive dialogue for you. Construct Walz to think: " It will make you have an opportunity to say refused by him and offer the suggestion of solving the problem. " Calm while stating your view. The psychology professor of Denver university,> think by one author, the intersection of doctor of philosophy and hertzs of the intersection of Ward and the intersection of agate and grams of graceful Dr. of book, usually the wife is that they do not say anything to you at all to husband's biggest complaint; But the most unanimous views of husbands are said too much will be caused and disputed. So he proposes: If you think of your husband not only listen to you but also exchange with you more, will make sure calm all the time. Don't say: " Right, I will exactly leave you! " And should say: " Then give me a kind of feeling wanted to leave you. " Threaten to seem that seem very noticeable, but they are often very dangerous and not leave further talk some leeway. The Dr. explains that construct Walz: " Your husband may say ' meet again ' to you that or ridicule you only make a show, and these two kinds of results are both a kind of shame to you. " Even if so really boiling with rage as to leave it of yours, your relation will not be concluded at this point either, especially involve the child's question. You after all in the heart put those impulse that may be triggered at any moment " Do not really want to leave " ,Seek the way to can be exchanged at this point. In this case, so long as the relation among couple has not broken yet, has said the true feeling contributes to keeping in touch To the base of the question. However, as to most marriages, by can only turn to leave to pay threatening into reality with lapse of timing easily. Terman Ge explains: " This wants to commit suicide a bit, always
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